Elegy For a Friend
by PoeticallyIncorrect1
Summary: Alternate ending to Mission La Roca 2. What if Connor and Frank had not returned in time? Warning: Character death. Finished.
1. This shouldn't be happening

ELEGY FOR A FRIEND

Part 1

"This shouldn't be happening," Natalie thought for probably the hundredth time in the past five days. She shouldn't be attending a memorial service for a man she'd known not quite a year. But in that time, he'd become more than just her colleague, he'd become her friend.

But here she was sitting in the uncomfortable seats with Connor on one side and Eva on the other. Even now she half expected to see Miles walk in and take his seat. But she knew that could never happen. He was gone from them forever. And it was his memorial service they were attending.

A hand lightly touched her shoulder. She turned to see Connor studying her, concern in his eyes. "Are you all right?" he gently asked.

"Yeah," she replied and her eyes closed briefly as she thought how Miles would have made a reply like that. Opening her eyes she looked past Connor to where Frank was sitting with his wife.

The room was beginning to fill with people. Some she knew from the NIH and others strangers to her. Persons that Miles probably worked with and knew before he joined the NIH. As she watched them finding seats, she reached into her pocket for her handkerchief and wondered if she had any more tears left to cry. She'd shed so many already for her friend, for his life cut short.

A/N My other stories will eventually be updated. Right now there are more to each posted on the Yahoo group "MedicalInvestigationFiles".


	2. It was like a nightmare

It was like a nightmare that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make herself wake up from it. Waiting for the service to start, she thought back to when that nightmare actually began.

xxxxx

When she saw Connor and Frank arrive with Miles, her first thought was "We're all together now." But her relief was quickly replaced by worry when she discovered that he too was sick with meningitis.

xxxxx

The knowledge that time was rapidly running out for the younger doctor kept echoing in Natalie's mind as she pulled up a chair to Miles' bedside. When his eyes opened and he looked at her, she gave him the bad news. "We're still waiting on the meds, Miles. Meanwhile we've started you on fluids and I'm giving you morphine."

His concern as usual was not for himself but for the patients as he said, "We've got to stop this, Nat."

Natalie placed a hand on his shoulder as she said, "We will, Miles. We will. Meanwhile just rest. Okay? They'll be back soon." She watched his eyes close again and thought "They'd better get back soon."

xxxxx

The sound of approaching footsteps drew Natalie'sattention from her bedside vigil. She looked up, an unspoken question in her eyes. Kate slowly shook her head and motioned for Natalie to join her in the corridor.

Natalie reluctantly got to her feet and followed Kate. She hated to leave Miles' side, even for a moment. Not while they still waited for Connor and Frank to return. "What is it?" she asked softly.

"Nestor just died," Kate answered. She looked back into the room and one bed in particular. "Miles?"

"I think it's just a matter of time now. He's been unconscious for most of the past hour and his fever keeps steadily rising." She shook her head in frustration. "It's not fair, Kate. He goes and disobeys orders because he knows he's needed there. And now we get him back?" Her voice broke. "Just so we can watch him die?"

"I know," Kate said softly. "Do you want me to tell Eva?"

"No. I can do it," Natalie quickly replied. A low moan from the room caused her to hurry back to the bedside. Reaching for a cloth she gently wiped his forehead. "Miles?"

With an effort his eyelids flickered open and he looked at her. "Nat?" he asked, his voice hardly more than a whisper.

"I'm right here, Miles," she said, blinking back tears and taking ahold of his hand.

"Didn't want.. it to end...this way..." His voice trailed off.

"I didn't want it to either."

"How much...longer?" he asked after a moment.

"Not long," she replied and the tears she'd been keeping back now fell silently down her face.

"Don't cry...I'm okay..." He managed the barest hint of a smile. "Been good...knowing you...learned a lot..."

"I learned from you too, Miles."

Suddenly he reached to grasp her arm as he softly pleaded. "Nat..please...don't...leave me..."

I won't leave you, Miles. Now just close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll be right here. I promise," she told him. It was a promise she inteneded on keeping no matter what.

xxxxx

It happened so quietly that it almost went unnoticed. Natalie had been silently monitoring his slowing pulse and respirations. She watched him draw a last breath,let it out and was still. Taking her stethoscope she placed it on his chest. It was just a formality to confirm what she already knew. "I'm sorry, Miles," she whispered.

Eva had chosen to stay by the bed and now she looked up, her face pale in the dim light. "Is it over?" she asked.

"Yes," Natalie softly answered. "Eva, there was really nothing we could do for him except keep him comfortable until Connor and Frank returned. He was just too sick." She looked down at Miles, noticing how peaceful he appeared. It was though he'd just fallen into a deep sleep. In a way he had but it wasa sleep from which he'd never awaken.

xxxxx

She became aware of the men's return the moment she heard Connor ask, "How long?".

Looking up, she said, "Fifteen minutes ago. I just couldn't bring myself to cover him up yet."

Connor approached the bed where Miles still layalthough it was obvious that the young doctor hadalready died. "We got back as soon as we could," was all he could think of to say.

Frank was looking at Miles with sadness in his eyes. "Was it...peaceful?" he asked, fumbling for the right words.

"Yes. He knew he was dying and didn't want me to leave him alone," she said softly as she placed Miles' hand back on the bed.

"Does kate know yet?" Connor asked.

"No. Not that he died."

"I'll go and tell her," Connor decided. He headed for the door followed by Frank and a moment later by Eva.

Left alone with Miles, Natalie sat with her head in her hands as she silently grieved for her friend.

xxxxx

Kate had hastily called together the remaining team members and now they were sitting in an empty office at the hospital. Natalie tiredly brushed the hair outof her face and asked, "Has his father been notified yet?"

"Yes. He's requested that Miles' body be flown to San Francisco," Kate replied. "There's a charter flight leaving in four hours and you're all going back on it. You've done your part and now it's time to let somebody else take over."

xxxxx

"Mr. McCabe, I'm sorry about the loss of your son. Miles was a gifted young doctor and we were honored tohave known him," Connor said as he expressed hiscondolences to Miles' father.

"Were any of you with him? In the end?" Mr.McCabe hesitantly asked.

She knew why he wanted to know. He wanted to be assured that Miles hadn't suffered or been in any pain. She could at least give him that reassurance and comfort. "I was," she said slowly. "Your son just died peacefully in his sleep."

"Thank you, Dr. Durant," he replied sounding relieved. After a moment he turned back to watch the coffin being loaded into the hearse.

xxxxx

Natalie stood in front of her mirror hastily smoothing out the dark blue dres she wore, the only thing she had she felt appropriate for the memorial service. She couldn't do much to disguise the pallor of hercomplexion or the dark circles under her eyes. Both were evidence of sleepless nights she'd lain awake wondering if she'd stopped Miles from going to MissionLa Roca, would he still be alive. But in the end she knew that it probably wouldn't have made any difference. He'd known the risks of getting infectedand had taken them without a second thought.

The sound of the doorbell ringing caused her to hurry to answer it. She knew it had to be Connor, he'd promised to pick her up and take her to the service. He stood in the doorway aking, "Hello, Nat. Are you ready to go?"

She nodded, gathering up her purse and keys. "I guess I am. I just wish this didn't have to be happening," she said quietly.

"Me too, Natalie. Eva will be meeting us there and so will Frank and his wife just as soon as the baby sitter arrives," Connor replied, watching as she locked the door behind her.

"Miles probably wouldn't have wanted all this fuss made, you know," she said and smiled faintly for the first time in days.

"He probably wouldn't have," Connor agreed. "When he first joined the team there were times I seriously wondered if he was cut out for it. And now it's goingto be very hard to replace him." He took her arm and led her out to the car.


	3. Elegy for a friend

ELEGY FOR A FRIEND

Natalie turned her attention back to the present as the memorial service started. A man had stepped up to the podium and was saying, "We are gathered here today to remember our friend and colleague Dr. Miles McCabe. Dr. McCabe passed away suddenly following a brief illness. And we are saddened by his loss. I am sure some of you have said or thought that it wasn't fair. He was too young and his life was taken too soon. That he had so much more to accomplish."

The minister paused for a moment and continued, "Although Miles' time with us was considered to be brief, he did accomplish much. Having attended Medical school at an earlier than usual age, he went on to become a caring and compassionate doctor. I first met Miles when he was a first year resident at Baltimore General Hospital and I was their new  
volunteer chaplain. That particular evening I'd been summoned down to the ER to comfort and pray with the parents of a young girl who'd been brought in. All I will say is that what had been done to that child I  
wouldn't want to be seen done to another human being. Miles had done everything he could to save her but in the end he failed. When he went to talk to the parents, you could see her really felt for them."

Natalie sat staring at the minister, her eyes beginning to fill with tears as she listened. She was only vaguely aware that Connor had placed his arm around her shoulders in a comforting gesture.

The minister continued, "I'm sure that many of you have your own memories and recollections of Miles and I ask you to share only if you desire to do so. Laurel Thomas, one of the ER nurses has a song she'd like to share."

He stepped away only to be replaced by a young woman, her red hair pulled back into a braid. She dabbed at her eyes and and consulted the paper in her hand. "Back when I was a student nurse Miles was a fourth year medical student doing his ER rotation. Somehow we ended up working some of the same shifts together and got along okay. I will admit that I was kind of  
glad that he decided to do his residency at Baltimore General. Anyway to explain about the song, I love to sing and I was always singing along with the radio or to the kids in the ER. Miles would always ask me when I was going to audition for "American Idol". Well, Ifinally did it. I sent in my audition tape. I justwish he was around to see me get that recording  
contract. The song I have selected to sing is one of my favorite hymns, "Amazing Grace". This song is for you, Miles."

She took a breath and let it out. "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound/ That saved a wretch like me/ I once was lost but now I'm found/ Was blind but now I see/" She sang the song in her clear sweet voice.

Once the song was finished, the minister said, "A beautiful song, Laurel. Now if anybody wants to say a few words in honor of Miles. Be my guest."

Natalie stood up and silently made her way to the podium, willing herself not to break down while she talked.

Once there she took a few minutes to regain her composure before speaking. "My name is Dr. natalie Durant and I knew Miles when he joined the NIH. Although his time with us was less than a year, I got to work with him a lot and see him become a valued member of the team we were both on. The last time we were on assignment, Miles, along with another team  
member and myself had been sent down to Central America to identify and contain an unknown disease outbreak. Miles as usual went where he was needed although it would eventually cost him his life. Even wheen he was so sick, his first concern was for the people he had to leave behind. Miles had always put those who needed him ahead of his own concerns and  
that's what he did yet again. Even when he faced the possibility that he might not survive, his first priority was stopping the illness. That's one thing I always admired about Miles and I'm glad I got the chance to know him."

She sstepped away from the podium and back to her seat, reaching to wipe her eyes. Connor reached totouch her arm and said, "That was very fitting, Nat."

"Thank you. It's the least I could do," she said softly and sat back to listen to the rest of the service.

Once the service was over, Natalie saw Laurel heading her way. "Can I help you?" she asked the younger woman.

Laurel looked at the paper she still clutched in her hand. "You were with Miles when he died?" she asked quietly.

"I was," Natalie replied.

"Can you tell me if Miles was happy in his job?" Laurel asked.

"Yes. I believe he was."

"That's good. I was very sorry to hear about Miles. He was a really nice guy you know. But a lot can happen in an ER that can really break your heart. Experience a lot of stuff you'd never want to again.I think he was ready to get away from the ER at least for awhile and I'm glad he found something he seemed to enjoy. I'm sure he experienced a lot with the NIH but not like what he did in the ER. Anyway, it's good to meet you, Dr. Drant. It seemed that Miles found a good friend in you."

"It was to meet you , Ms. Thomas," Natalie replied. She watched Laurel leave before going in sarch of Connor. It was time to go home and pick up the pieces, to get back to work. Somehow she knew that Miles would want it that way.


End file.
